Forgiving someone that has wronged you can be extremely difficult. However there are rewards for those who learn to forgive
At some point in our lives most of us have been wronged, betrayed, lied to or hurt by another. It is very difficult in this imperfect word full of imperfect people not to be on the receiving end of some injustice. Obviously there are degrees of hurt depending on the circumstances, from someone not inviting you to a party, to the betrayal and deep hurt that comes from someone you have loved for years cheating on you or leaving you.
Negotiating through the pain
Whether it’s the first time or just another part of a long list of hurt, the same questions are always asked. What will this mean for my future? and how do I get over this? Forgiving is a very powerful and important step and perhaps to understand this we must imagine what it is not to forgive.
What its like not to forgive
Im not going to just let him off the hook! Is the ususal reason for not forgiving someone. Yet we have not fully understood what it is to forgive. It is the choice of what we keep in our minds and can determine what we will hold there in the future.
The toxicity of holding on
By being unforgiving you are holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal. Being unforgiving you’re saying to yourself “I am not going to let this event go and I going to remain angry, bitter resentful and hurt. Being unforgiving does not change the past or hold back the person you don’t forgive, rather it is a self inflicted poison that can only lead to a more miserable life.
Something from real life.
One of my clients told me once about what she did when she discovered that her husband was leaving her for a younger woman. They had been married 30 years and although it brought her much sadness rather than try to punish her husband for what he was doing, she told him honestly that she wanted him to be happy. An incredibly hard thing to do and it was certainly not for her husbands benefit. It was for her own as she’d rather not spend years of misery dwelling on what had happened. She decided she did not want to be left with a bitter heart because of what he had done and so through her love for her spiritual self she realised the best way forward was to forgive.
Knowing what we do to others.
Being forgiving is also about us realising the fact that we too have hurt people. It may be you that is hurt right now but looking back to the past you will discover that you may have disappointed or let someone down too. In forgiving other people you are allowing yourself to forgive yourself! This can be said as more often than not you will judge others as you will judge yourself.
Delving deep into your heart.
Although being forgiving may seem hard, you can be assured being unforgiving takes a lot more time, effort, energy and inevitably leaves us with nothing. So when you are faced with deep and painful hurt, look deep in your heart and make a choice to forgive, to let go, to embrace and welcome the liberating power of forgiveness in your heart, mind and soul.
September 19th, 2008 at 2:58 am
Hi, I found your blog on this new directory of WordPress Blogs at blackhatbootcamp.com/listofwordpressblogs. I dont know how your blog came up, must have been a typo, i duno. Anyways, I just clicked it and here I am. Your blog looks good. Have a nice day. James.